Why haven't I been posting any movie reviews?

At the end of December, I received an email from Blockbuster saying that they were going to increase the rate I pay for their service - that was the straw that broke the camel's back. The rates keep increasing while the service keeps decreasing. When I first subscribed to Blockbuster.com 3 years ago, I was paying $14.99 per month for 3 movies out at a time and unlimited in-store exchanges. For that same service today, it costs $34.99. I understand inflation, but that's a bit much, so I decided to cancel my subscription and read more books.

In addition, I have been focusing on posting to my other blog about the adventures we're having with our new baby girl, Kaitlyn. As a result, I've made a decision to combine the two blogs into one called the Cutforth Family Blog. Here's the URL: http://blog.cutforthfamily.com. The focus of the Cutforth Family Blog will remain our adventures with Kaitlyn, but will now include other fun things Shawnna and I do as well. I'll keep Dave's Hooey (with all the movie reviews) online since I put a lot of time into it, but my days of reviewing 3 movies a week are gone.

So, head on over to the Cutforth Family Blog and update your bookmarks and RSS feeds to point to the new blog.

The Simpsons Movie - Movie Review

Thanks to Lisa Simpson, Lake Springfield is cleaned up from the pollution that once fouled it. But when Homer, who's adopted a pig (Spider-pig) and dumps a silo full of the pig's waste in the lake, the EPA places a large dome over Springfield, and the Simpsons family manage to escape through a sinkhole. The family flees to a better life in Alaska, but when the head of the EPA, Russ Cargill, orders the towns destruction, it's up to Homer to save Springfield.

If you are a fan of the Simpsons television show, I'm sure you'll enjoy this film as well. I haven't watched "The Simpsons" for at least 10 years, so there were some characters I wasn't familiar with and I'm sure I missed some inside jokes that true Simpsons fans would catch. The film itself wasn't terribly original, the jokes have been done before and the blatant product placements and ads were lame. The plot was OK, but nothing special. Overall, it's not a must see unless you're a Simpsons fan.

Rating: 2.5 of 5 stars
Would I watch it again: No
Starring: Voices of Dan Castellaneta, Julie Kavner, Yeardley Smith, Nancy Cartwright

The opinions expressed are those of me, myself and I.

Next - ACE Train Movie Review

Cris Johnson is a Las Vegas magician who possesses the unique ability to witness the events of the immediate future moments before they happen. As a child Cris was subjected to a series of cruel experiments by government scientists and doctors, but a change of name and a new identity allowed the tortured psychic to elude detection and start a new life away from the prying eyes of his former captors. Though his clairvoyant vision only extends a few minutes into the future, it has still allowed Cris to eke out a living as a low-rent Las Vegas magician while earning a little extra cash at the blackjack tables. Up to this point in his life Cris has never used his power for anything substantial, but when he experiences a vision of Los Angeles being incinerated in a nuclear holocaust, the small-time magician realizes that he could hold the key to saving millions of lives. But as low as he has tried to lie in recent years, Cris has never completely escaped detection by the government. Now, as terrorists prepare to unleash the ultimate horror on an unsuspecting city, FBI counter terror agent Callie Ferris sets out to capture Cris and convince him to use his exceptional gift to prevent the nuclear nightmare from becoming a terrifying reality.

The idea was interesting, but the plot was not. Nicolas Cage has made some great films and some duds. This one goes into the later group. There were just too many inconsistencies and things that didn't make sense. To me, the main plot was one of those things that didn't make sense - the government wants Cris to use his ability to save millions of lives, but Cris does everything in his power to not help. Just freakin' help already! The other big thing that I didn't understand was the fact that Cris could see 2 minutes into the future, so the people trying to capture Cris needed to wait 2 minutes before they acted on their plan. However, since Cris can perpetually see 2 minutes into the future, wouldn't he still be able to see the plan in action before it happens and react accordingly? Maybe I missed something, but I don't feel the need to watch it again.

Rating: 2 of 5 stars
Would I watch it again: No
Starring: Nicolas Cage, Julianne Moore, Jessica Biel

The opinions expressed are those of me, myself and I.

Complete List of All My Movie Reviews

I have collected all of my movie reviews (407 to date) in a single list using Google Docs: http://spreadsheets.google.com/pub?key=p7HOdSNxDv6-JExLmLY2fIQ. The default sort order is by my rating, but there's a tab on top which will allow you to view them alphabetically. As I post a movie review on this blog, I will update the spreadsheet as well, so it will always be up to date. I'll keep a link to the spreadsheet at the top of my blog for easy access - just look up and there it is ;-)

Shrek the Third - ACE Train Movie Review

Shrek and Fiona's fairy-tale wedding has gone off without a hitch, yet just as the beaming newlyweds prepare to enjoy their blissful "happily ever after," the sudden death of King Harold finds everyone's favorite ornery ogre being reluctantly fitted for the royal crown. Troubled to learn that not only will he be compelled to rule Far Far Away, but that he and Fiona are also expecting a little ogre, Shrek determines to track down his new bride's rebellious cousin Artie - the one true heir to the throne - in order to focus on fatherhood without the added distraction of having to preside over the kingdom. As Shrek sets out with faithful companions Donkey and Puss in Boots to locate the medieval high-school slacker and bring him back to become the reigning sovereign of Far Far Away, handsome snake Prince Charming slithers back to the castle in the company of the dreaded Captain Hook to stage a diabolically timed coup and assume control of the throne.

The first two Shrek films were brilliant and hilarious - this one was not. Apparently, all the good ideas were used in the first two films, but how could they pass up a big payday by releasing a third? The story was mundane and there weren't many funny scenes. My biggest laugh came from the scene where the Gingerbread Man got scared and pooped out a gum drop. Of course, that could mean that I have issues, but more likely it's an indication that the movie just wasn't very funny. The worst part was that the end left the storyline open for another sequel. If they make another film, I sure hope they take the time to make a quality, imaginative product ala the first two films.

Rating: 2 of 5 stars
Would I watch it again: No
Starring: Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy, Cameron Diaz

The opinions expressed are those of me, myself and I.

Superbad - ACE Train Movie Review

Operating under the assumption that by procuring alcohol for an upcoming party they will finally be able to break their longstanding losing streak with the fairer sex, socially inept high school seniors Evan and Seth set out to secure the adult beverages that could get them off of the geek list before they even attend college orientation. Evan is a bright young student whose outward sweetness belies his suffocating fear of heading off to college without his lifelong best friend Seth - a hormone-driven mischief-maker who wasn't accepted to the same school as Evan. But Evan and Seth both know that college is a place of personal reinvention, and that if they are able to make that first leap together they will have forged a bond powerful enough to last a lifetime. Meanwhile, Evan and Seth's friend Fogell acquires a hastily rendered fake I.D. that instantly endears him to a pair of truly irresponsible cops.

The name of the film is fitting as it truly is super bad. To be clear, that's not bad as in good. Most teenage boys will love this movie and think it's the best thing ever. The rest of us, however, might not have the same fondness for the silliness and vulgarity that is on full display during the film. Sure, there are some funny parts and the main characters are likable nerds, but it's mostly a waste of time. I'd put this in the same category as Napoleon Dynamite - if you liked that film, you'll probably enjoy this one as well. Otherwise, you can safely skip it.

Rating: 2 of 5 stars
Would I watch it again: No
Starring: Jonah Hill, Michael Cera, Christopher Mintz-Plasse

The opinions expressed are those of me, myself and I.

Live Free or Die Hard - ACE Train Movie Review

It's the beginning of the Fourth of July weekend, but New York City Detective John McClane isn't celebrating. He's had yet another argument with his college-age daughter and received a crushingly routine assignment to bring in a young hacker, Matt Farrell, for questioning by the FBI. But for McClane, the ordinary has a habit of exploding into the extraordinary - abruptly hurtling him into the wrong place at the wrong time. With Farrell's help, McClane slowly begins to understand the increasing chaos surrounding him. An attack is underway on the vulnerable United States infrastructure, shutting down the entire nation. The mysterious figure behind the scheme, Thomas Gabriel, stays several moves ahead of McClane as he implements his incredible plans, known to uber-geeks like Farrell as a "fire sale" (as in, everything must go!)

If you're a fan of the Die Hard films, this one won't disappoint. Like the other films, there is plenty of action, suspense and Bruce Willis a$$ kicking. A lot of things get blown up, people get shot at and blood is never far away. The plot is different than the other films (which is good) and is very modern in its technological focus. At the end of the day, it's good to see Bruce Willis back playing the character of John McClane. He was made for this part and I wouldn't mind seeing Die Hard numbers 5, 6, and 7 in the future. If the quality can remain this high, why not?

Rating: 4 of 5 stars
Would I watch it again: Yes
Starring: Bruce Willis, Justin Long, Timothy Olyphant

The opinions expressed are those of me, myself and I.